Something I have learned about the how to talk in office

My dear fellow beings,

This is for all those people who feel they are being pushed around by other people. They have difficulty in saying no. And many times they feel they have been pushed with a lot of work. Have you ever wondered what it is that keeps that other guy in team so stress free and he relaxes while you get loaded more and more with work? When you have a meeting with the manager more work comes onto your head but in his case either he is able to postpone it or it doesnt come on him finally?

This has been true for me for a long time. But finally I have realised what is different. Managers in IT companies have a very different way of speaking (as do a lot of other people also). For example, if they want you to send an email to someone. They dont say “please send an email as soon as possible to xyz”. They say “an email needs to be sent to xyz”.

Same thing with interaction with Americans. They are quite good in communication no doubt. They too use this subtle way of speaking. They don’t tell you “can you write create some documents/guide on whatever you are working on and send them to me so I can understand better?” Instead they say “I was hoping that you would have some documents, something that explains all these things in more details <pause>” then you say that you dont have any documents. Now they say “Going ahead I feel it would be great if we could have some documents. That would have benefit 1, benefit 2. <pause>” Usually at this point you would say “Ok I will create some documents”. And if you dont say that they finally they will ask you directly “Since you were the person who worked on this I think you are the best person to create this document <long pause> If its not much trouble for you could you create some documents? <pause till you reply>”.

Why are they saying things in this indirect manner? Because this way along with the pauses is more compelling. Instead if you just ask “hey can you create some documents?” the reply could be “I could but I’m actually working on task1 and task2. So it will be difficult for me to make it”. While speaking back its easier to refuse the task than when it is asked in an indirect manner. Also, you feel good about yourself when you take up that task when it is asked indirectly. So as a manager remember this.

Ok. I am not sure whether I made this point clear or not. If you have any questions ask away in comments. May all of us be able to overcome our talking/shyness problems and gently stand up for ourselves in this life, without stepping or causing someone else discomfort. That is strength of good communication.

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few great things that happened today

– continued doing volunteer work for an organization

– I was so frustrated of a colleague yesterday. I was wandering around helplessly on the 1st floor yesterday. Luckily a close friend was just passing by that time just around the corner. I had been planning to tell my manager that I needed a team change but  he listened to my problems patiently along with another guy. They convinced me to speak to tell my manager about the problems I had. Had they not been present that time I might have been in some mess with my boss.

– I spoke to my boss and he was fine listening to all my complaints. Ha ha. This is so amazing man. In future I can always appoach him with my problems.

– I got a raise

– The work on getting a house progressed further.

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How to Survive Working Long Hours | eHow.com

Due to a situation which developed in my work I had to work my ass off this weekend. i’ve worked this Saturday and Sunday constantly. Man do I hate the software industry. I’m having an adrenaline rush right now. Its probably an anxiety attack. But I’m happy that at least I’m earning for my family. I’m now independent of my dad who stopped giving us money long time back. Though I do wish there was something else I could do besides working in Software.

I found this to be helpful.

How to Survive Working Long Hours | eHow.com.

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Feeling overwhelmed because there is too much of things to improve?

I was feeling really overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I want to be doing. Some of the things are:

gk : i suck big time at it (as of now)

guitar : love the sound but wish i could play better

ms: need to prepare for my distance learning ms course from bits pilani. i havent been much of an academic and need to sit down to study on a daily basis (or else 45k goes down the drain)

friends: bond with very selected ppl. i want to increase my social circle also. this is directly related with gk. i wish i cud get more ppl to talk to and maybe a group to hang out with. dont you at times feel you knew more ppl closely?

spiritual: reading a bit everyday will go a long way later towards a more positive life

health: im like a fried potato – never know when something can break and really unhealthy. ive to practice some asana/pranayama on a daily basis

responsibilities: deal with lots of things to do around the house – getting rid of the clutter, putting ads for sale and following up with ppl, maintaining gud relations with the owners, getting groceries/small items, repariing stuff or getting them repaired, organizing/cleaning my room, paying bills, getting roommates.

job: surviving. i hav mostly been an extremely quiet person my whole life. job is all abt surviving with ppl i find difficult. this is one area where progress is gud. 😀  I got the highest rating in the team and things appear to be going good at least in this direction

tech: catch up on technology. too much. dns, active directory, java, selenium automation, certifications, dealining with office tech used – its a v.v. huge list. need to work on this too.

ok. nuff said. whats the solution to this never ending mountain on my back? i keep feeling overwhelmed when things keep breaking down and for the simplest of things not going the right way leads to more frustration. how do i deal with all this? The answer is: habits.

If I can make good habits things life will automatically start becomming more manageable as I dont have to push myself to do everything here. And for building habits, the perfect solution is here.

Try this out. It can help keep motivation high for new habits.

I’m going to print this out and fill-it up tom. Yawn. good night readers.

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Intro

Hi,

Welcome to my blog. If you are the kind of person who wants to improve everything about your life and feels overwhelmed by it then you might find my posts interesting. Read up and feel free to express your thoughts on any points.

May we all improve ourselves with no limits and be one step closer to that feeling of contentment.

Mugen

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Hello world!

Welcome to my blog. I guess in the world of creating new stuff I guess everyone usually starts off with a favorite “Hello world” program.

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